Réservation annulée

Checked in last night on my laptop for yet another flight with Ryanair.

I wanted to print the boarding pass. No way via the app.

Contacted support. “gna gna gna please take 45 minutes at the airport to print a dumb piece of paper”

lol no :D

“gna gna gna am sorry can’t do anything bla bla bla”

Right. What was I thinking, ey?

“Can you un-check me in, and let me re-check in via the app please?”

One moment please, and then I quote: “Ok your booking has been cancelled, kthxbye 😗”

(For legal reasons (plz don’t sue) she did not actually sign off with that, though she did use the words “réservation” and “annulée”, together, in that order, which prompted one typically human reaction:)

I go apeshit :D

Literally wrote “WHAT THE FUCK? DID YOU JUST CANCEL MY BOOKING?” in English.

“Uuuh please speak professional bla bla bla”

I see at the same time an email from Ryanair that mentions something about Mastercard and the price of the ticket, which I don’t manage to read entirely from my phone screen.

I’m going full berzerk mode on my seat.

Then I refresh the app and see the “check in” button appear.

Then she goes “no i didn’t cancel, wth u talkin about gna gna gna”

From here I re-check in, take like five screenshots, add to Google Wallet, refresh, re-check, go on my laptop to make sure. Seems OK.

“Ok sorry support_agent, wasn’t ok for me to swear at you in full caps (which I mean entirely both in the moment and now that I’m telling you), for my defence your translation was about as bad as it could have been in that context”

“Yea, sorry, anything I can do?”

No (and please choke on your keyboard you syphilitic nonce), have a nice day (ya sentient celeriac branch).

Watch vibrating as I’m closing the chat with a push notification: “dude whatever the fuck it is you think you’re doing, you might re-consider the compatibility of it with the notion of living to old age, just sayin”

Ryanair. More choice. Low fares. Great care.